Mystery Solved

I don’t know if anyone cares or even remembers my wildlife graveyard in my back yard but this morning while drinking my cup of coffee admiring my newly mowed grass I noticed another dead rabbit laying in my grass…. I was dumbfounded and irritated with having to remove another corpse from my yard and suddenly the killer showed it self… A very beautiful gray cat went racing through my yard and the world made sense again… This cat and I have had a little relationship; I occasionally leave some food on my porch for her to eat… I keep thinking eventually we will be come friends but so far to no avail. She sits on the fence and stares at me from a distance and I tell her how pretty she is and she swings her tail and then disappears into the desert. It is very similar to my relationship with men! I love animals but due to my very busy schedule I am unable to have one I just feel guilty having an animal and not being home enough to give it the love and care it needs... So instead I try to make friends with the neighborhood cats…. I guess this was her way of showing me she cares… how sweet. Maybe I am making progress.

I am back now!!

I realize I have been missing for much longer than I initially intended but so is life… I wish I had more to report on the Boyfriend hunt of 2009 but I pretty much gave up after the last debacle… I have officially given up on online dating after I met with a woman who had some horrific stories that mirrored my last experience.

I now have an official court date for child support… it isn’t till August but I can wait. He thought he was going to be sneaky and move to a different town but I have my ways of figuring out where he is at… I truly believe I missed my calling as a Private Investigator!

I have also been involved with the T-ball team from HELL! We have had practices 3-4 times a week along with at least 2 games a week. During the practices they don’t really pay attention to my son and he gets yelled at every time he sits down… then they make the kids run every time they miss a ball. Then the straw that broke the camels back happened this past week… My family showed up to watch the game and my son only played 1 inning at the very end and then this past Saturday we had two games scheduled one at 8 am (which we have to be there at 7) and that game was cancelled. Then we had a game at 4pm… in which my son didn’t even get a chance to play b/c our team is so concerned with winning. Did I mention this team consists of 5 and 6 year olds… yep that’s right… So I spent all day Saturday running around for t-ball and my little man didn’t even get to swing a bat. It was extremely upsetting for me… they managed to waste my day and make my son cry… so this morning after sitting and getting angry I emailed the Vice President of the Baseball league and he said
“According to our league rules, all players must play 2 consecutive innings on the field, and be given 2 at bats for qualification. The penalty for not qualifying a player is forfeit of the game. We just recently had a forfeit a few days ago for this particular infraction. If you don't mind, please give me the name of your team and manager, so that I may have a conversation with him after I verify the official scorebook. All coaches were given the rules at our initial meeting in April. All players should get to play, and I fully understand your frustrations. I will not mention your name to the coach; I will just mention that a concerned parent notified me.”

So I gave him the information and decided we would not be participating in the remaining 2 games… I have never been one to quit anything but I have had it. I am sure the team will be upset but they need to understand that this is for fun and everyone has to follow the rules… not just the rules you agree with!

So now with all of that in the past I am back….

M.I.A

Sorry I am MIA I have been extremely busy trying to get it all done… which by the way is impossible. I have had t-ball, mother’s day, a wedding and a graduation so right now my brain is fried, all I want to do is curl up on the couch and sleep… but that’s not going to happen till sometime in July… damn! I have closed my door at work maybe they won’t suspect I am taking a nap on the budget book that I am supposed to be reviewing…

I promise I will write something semi-entertaining tomorrow (ok that was a little ambious) maybe Wednesday!

The Email

Federal Agent,

Not real sure if you want to know why I ended what seemed like a pretty good relationship, but I feel the need to at least explain, so if you don’t want to know delete the email now!

You really are a terrific guy and I enjoyed going out with you. I was just really put off by your bedroom behavior. It was too much too soon. I know I probably should have said something at the time but I was uncomfortable and didn’t exactly know how to tell you that I don’t enjoy those acts especially so early on in the relationship. I felt it should have been a little more romantic and a little less adult film. It was out of my comfort zone to do with someone I had only been on a handful of dates with. I need to feel completely secure with someone before anything that invasive takes place. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way I really thought you were a great guy and I am sorry it didn’t work out.

Megan

Dating Karma

My mother seems to think I should send an email to the Federal Agent to explain to him what went wrong. She thinks it could help my dating karma. I tend to agree but I am not real sure how or what to say. My mom says I should start off by telling him how wonderful I think he is (you know butter him up) and then drop the bomb… although my mother doesn’t exactly know what happened in the bedroom that made me so squeamish, so I don’t think she understands that there is not a real delicate way to write “You really turned me off when you masturbated in my bed using my fancy lotion and now I gag every time I smell Japanese Cherry Blossom” and without using variation of those words I don’t think I can clearly communicate what exactly went wrong… I would really like to help this poor guy out but am I obligated? I do feel sorry for the next poor girl he gets into his bed and then has to witness (and be propositioned to help and lay naked while he asks if he can look at her…ok enough, I think I already crossed the TMI thresh hold) while he gets down to business…. I feel like he should know this is not appropriate for a 1st time bedroom encounter with a girl… I just don’t know how to put it to put into words my point and not give him something dirty to read over and over again… you know? Last thing I want is to give him some erotica to read… the boy already has issues! I have also contemplated just sending him my blog address and telling him to read away… but I think that might be on the cruel side. So what would you do?

Romance Novels and Therapy

Well I ended things with Federal Agent on Friday… and he made it extremely easy. He sent me a text asking if I still wanted to do things in the future (after I had cancelled lunch) and not wanting to text him “No” I figured I would wait till the evening when things have settled down at my home and call him up and tell him… then like 15 minutes later he text again and asked “If you don’t’ want to hang out in the future that is cool, just let me know before I call and act like a fool” So what was I supposed to do? He felt it was appropriate to ask the question via text (twice) so I figured it was it was suitable to answer the question via text… I could have been wrong but I figured it was rude to continue to ignore the text questions or to lead him on any further so I text him and apologized and told him it just wasn’t working out. And that was that! I felt an extreme weight lift off my shoulders. I still wonder if I should send him something that explains why it wasn’t working… Should I tell him that his bedside manner left little to be desired? Or at least let him know that his aggressiveness in the bedroom was what ruined our connection? Or just let it be? I mean he really is a somewhat decent guy he just doesn’t have any idea what women are looking for in the bedroom… I feel like I need to help the poor guy out and buy him a romance novel and tell him to read it so that he might have a better understanding on what women want in the bedroom. Although my therapist seems to think he has an emotional issue and that is why he acts the way he does when the sheets are turned down…

Dr. Alex asked me the other day about the Federal Agents (for a lack of better term) hardness. Dr. Alex asked me if his peeps (piece of male anatomy) was erect and if it stayed that way… and well since I had been up close and personal (not enthusiastically)… my answer went something like this:

Me: “Hum… it was and then it wasn’t then it was and then it wasn’t” (yes I have a way with words)
Dr Alex: “So it didn’t remain that way?”
Me: “Nope… it seemed to get that way but would kind of collapsed after a moment of non activity”
Dr Alex: “Hmm… that’s interesting… is he a fairly healthy person?”
Me: “Yeah he runs daily and eats right… I wouldn’t say he was a health nut but he’s average”
Dr Alex: “He’s 35 right?”
Me: “Yep”
Dr. Alex: “Usually when a 35 year old healthy male can’t maintain an erection it has more to do with his emotional state not his physical state”
Me: “So you think he’s gay?”
Dr Alex: “I don’t know, I just think there might be something bothering him in that department”
Me: “I knew it, he’s gay”
Dr Alex: “I didn’t say that, I just think that he has an issue that needs to be resolved… you did say he liked to talk dirty and was kind of aggressive in the bed”
Me: “Yeah”
Dr Alex: “Maybe he has a hard time getting aroused and maybe being dirty/kinky is the only way he can maintain”
Me: “That’s what I was thinking and so I came to the conclusion that he is gay”
Dr Alex: “Is there anything else that makes you think he is gay?”
Me: “yeah, he drives a tiny car red two door car, not a sports car, and always makes references to how I am going to think he’s gay because of something that he says/does. We also had a strange conversation about how many gay people I knew and he seemed very interested in how I met them”
Dr Alex: “Ok your right he’s gay” (laughing)

I almost wish Federal Agent would have told him he was gay and then I could finally have a GBF… hey a girl can dream!

Jockstraps!

Still haven’t come up with how to tell the Federal Agent I am not interested in dating anymore but I am sure I will figure it out… I wish it was as easy as sending a text... to be in high school again would be great... I could just send a friend to take care of the situation!

But on a different note yesterday was my son’s 1st tee ball practice and he has his 1st game today… I am a tiny bit upset over the circumstances surrounding the whole tee ball situation. We signed up in January and I made numerous phone calls/emails to the respective people in order to get my son put on a team with little success… The lady kept saying that she would call me as soon as he was put on a team… and then I wouldn’t get a call back or she would put me on hold and then forget about me… she couldn’t even remember my sons name from one moment to the next… Yesterday I gave a last ditch effort and sent an email to the Vice President of the baseball league and within 30 minutes my son was on a team. The team has been practicing since February so my son is a little behind… oh well he will catch up. He also will not have a uniform for the game… oh well. Now today during my lunch break I need to locate: white baseball pants size XS, white and navy baseball socks, Navy blue belt and a cup… yep that is right my 5 year old needs a cup… I have absolutely no experience with cups… I was raised in a family with 4 girls (including myself) and no boys… So I am sure this is going to be a learning experience… it’s one of those things that makes me so angry that his father is not around… isn’t this a moment when father should help? Yeah you should have seen me teaching my son to pee standing up… I am sure it was all sorts of wrong. I usually don’t worry too much about having a father figure in my son’s life but when things like this arise I can’t help but feel like my child is being cheated in someway that this is a pivotal father son bonding moment and my son has to share it with me (although he doesn’t know the difference) and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. It makes me want to drive down to San Antonio and squeeze the life out of his father… but I know I can not control BD (Baby Daddy) (and really what would strangling him get me? Jail time and that’s not good for any of us) and no matter how hard I try I can not make him an active part of my son’s life… Hell at this point I can’t even force his father to be a financial part of his life. But I do what I have to and get things done and my son doesn’t know the difference, I know we are much better off than some and I am grateful that I was able to pick myself up and support our little family with little to no help. It’s just sometimes when I put on my 3 year old slacks to go to my fairly decent paying job it makes me angry that I work so damn hard and can’t enjoy the fruits of my labor… I can’t even get a damn manicure… or purchase a new trash can for my kitchen while BD is off in Puerto Rico on a guided fishing trip… I stay optimistic knowing that someday it will all catch up with him! (Not real sure how that little story took a turn from tee ball and jockstraps to child support but oh well I feel better now)